Hate
by somerdaye
Summary: Four times Sam hated her sister, and one time she pretended to. Seddie tones.


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One.

The kids don't like her and she doesn't know why. The girls are dropped off at school by their dad, who kisses them both and tells Sam to behave. They walk into the classroom and she decides she hates them all instantly. They're all immature babies, it seems like, so Sam sticks her nose in the air and snarls at the boy closest to her. Melanie, like the sweet girl she is, tells the boy _it's okay, she only seems scary. She still sleeps with her teddybear, Sprinklecake. _He laughs and spreads the story across the class.

She's only five and she doesn't know if she likes her sister much.

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Two.

Her mom is crying and she doesn't know why. Melanie gets to her first, crouching on the floor next to where the woman is huddled, and rubs her back. Sam, only home right now and not at her new friend Carly's because of the 'A' she just got, stands in the doorway, confused. Their mom says, sobbing, that their dad isn't gonna be there anymore. Sam doesn't understand - why isn't daddy coming home? He loved them, didn't he? So she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, _what did you do, mom?_ Melanie gives her a 'this-isn't-the-time' look, but Sam ignores it and continues to pester her mom about what on earth she could have done to make daddy up and go without saying goodbye to his little angels. Melanie tells her later, in the comfort of their room, that she was wrong to say those things, that mom needs to become more positive, and that her accusations aren't helping matters.

She's only eight and she's starting to dislike her sister quite a bit.

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Three.

Her sister is leaving and she doesn't know why. Melanie tries to say what a great experience this will be for her, to take the scholarship the evil school in D.C. was offering her and get a better education than Seattle could ever give her. Sam doesn't care about all that, all she cares about is that her sister is leaving her to deal with their weepy mother all by herself. Sam can't take care of a grown woman who is just that miserable, and she tries to explain this, but it all ends up sounding angry and threatening. Melanie is too nice to yell, but she does lose her smile and seems sad at Sam's reaction. _Don't you know what this means to me, Sam? _It sounds like her heart is breaking, like if she doesn't go to this stupid school her life will be ruined. So Sam lets her go.

She's only eleven and she thinks she might hate her sister.

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Four.

Freddie's acting strange and she doesn't know why. Freddie thinks that Melanie is Sam in disguise, and that Sam is just lying about having a sister, and Sam sure as hell wishes that were true, but no amount of hoping and shooting stars will make her an only child. He keeps protesting that Melanie is so unrealistic, so fake, there's no way she's the real deal, and if only he knew that it is the real her, the sickening way she talks and walks and breathes is all her. When Melanie tells her Freddie asked her out, Sam's stomach drops, and she calls her sister an moron in Yiddish - the only word she bothered to look up, it wasn't worth learning Yiddish swear words if her mom and teacher would understand - because who in their right mind would want to go on a date with Freddie? When Melanie tells her later, in the comfort of their room, that_ that boy is in love with you_, she scoffs and asks what conked her sister on the head today, but her heart is racing and her mind is telling her heart to shut up because it's not true, how would Melanie know? She's only known him for a couple days. And Freddie most definitely doesn't like Sam. They kissed that one time, sure, but it was nothing. And besides, she thinks, Melanie kissed Freddie too.

She's only fifteen and she knows she hates her sister.

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She's only pretending and she doesn't know why. Her sister is bright eyed and bushy tailed, waving her diploma from the stage, and Sam feels prouder than she's ever felt for anyone, but doesn't let it show. Instead she acts bored and patronizing as her mom hugs Melanie and then the girl turns to her - the faces so identical but so different at the same time - and goes to hug her, but Sam stops her and tries her best to look disgusted._ Just because you're graduating from some fancy university doesn't give you a free hug, Mel. _Her sister smiles slightly, understanding in that way only twins really can that Sam is only putting up a front, even though there's no one to front for. So she mouths_ I love you _and Sam salutes her and they share a secret smile.

She's twenty two and although she already knows she hates her sister, she knows she loves her, too.

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**Okay so hopefully that wasn't too bad, but I'm just starting out with this format so I never know.**


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